It is believed that it is necessary to help people and do good to them. But in fact, most of us are waiting for reciprocal help and good. And this situation sometimes turns into significant problems for the “responding” side.
The woman was so grateful that she left her address and phone number “kind” to the administrator. Just in case. And what do you think? The following summer, that lady called her and asked if she and her sister could stay with her for several days in Moscow? It was inconvenient to refuse - after all, my tutor received a serious service from her! And then for three days he and his son had to endure two corpulent ladies who arrived in the capital of our country for shopping in their cramped "underpants".
Each such trip as a result costs relatives of 100-200 thousand. But the will can be rewritten or challenged in court! Moreover, the relative has a son (though he is in a bad relationship with him) and two granddaughters.
And what? The man found work, but so far it seems that the salary has not been paid. As a result, he does not give the landlady an apartment for a dime, he buys products only for himself, and then he rarely, and more often eats, what the landlady prepares. That is, she sits on her neck and is not going to move out.
I asked why she suffers this. The woman replied that their family went to rest for the same second cousin for several years in a row. And she also fed them there, watered and did not take money. Therefore, to refuse a request to settle a relative's husband is a black ingratitude.
In general, the work turned out to be much more than was promised at the very beginning. Moreover, as it turned out, the editor did not pay me extra for the articles that I wrote at his request. When I raised these questions, I heard in response that I ... did not appreciate what he was doing for me. Like, he decided to support me, gives me work and so on. That I honestly, without days off and holidays, plowed at him, not a word was said ...
Honestly, I immediately got sick to cooperate with this person, although I need money. Because I don’t like it when they remind me that I owe something to someone.
But this incident made me wonder: is it worth accepting help if you don’t know what a person will ask for then, what will you have to pay for?
In school years, I had a girlfriend from a large family. They lived poorly, and she got into the habit of going to dinner with us. I had one with my parents ... This went on for three years. And then she left me. I found other girlfriends with whom she was apparently more interested. And she even stopped talking to me.
Thirty years have passed. We sometimes meet, but she still noticeably strains at the sight of me. I think because she remembers that situation and she is embarrassed. Since she was unable to repay anything for the "good" done to her.
Yes, Bulgakov’s Woland was right a thousand times when he said to Margarita: “Never ask for anything!” And especially those who are stronger than you. " And not only because "they themselves will offer everything and they themselves will give everything." But because you don’t know what they may ask you in return.
If you are not able to refuse someone else's help, then figure out how you will "pay". Maybe gifts. Maybe with money ... Or maybe immediately offer some kind of response service? In order not to fall into a situation when you are asked about something too burdensome. As they say, debt is red by payment ...